


the c00l sk8terz ||hiatus||

by emtheloser



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Group chat, M/M, Yaoi on Ice, yoi group chat, yuri on ice group chat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-03
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2018-09-14 11:10:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 6,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9178945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emtheloser/pseuds/emtheloser
Summary: WOOO ANOTHER YOI GROUP CHAT FICStep into the world of Domestic™ Yuri on Ice characters as they go through the adventures of friendship.you know when you're like, high on air? well that's what i was like while writing lol don't take any of this seriously





	1. The beginning of something beautiful

**Author's Note:**

> maccachoke - victor  
> eros - yuuri  
> icetiger - yuri(o)  
> everymonthwebuyahamster - phichit  
> nut - chris  
> kingjj - jj  
> beka - otabek  
> iloveanya - georgi  
> pewdiepie - emil  
> stillalive - leo  
> smolchinese - guang hong  
> noticemeyuuri-senpai - minami (kenjirou)
> 
> i have 15 pages of this fic on google docs so brace for impact  
> i also wrote most of this the last 3 nights around midnight-1am so there's probably gonna be some mistakes and stuff
> 
> UPDATE JULY 9 2018  
> okay after a year and a half i have arisen from the dead  
> i have some things to say so please read:  
> \- i JUST NOW realized that makkachin is spelled with Ks and not Cs, so victor's username in literally all of this story is wrong. i deeply apologize. i do not have the energy to fix it.  
> \- when i originally wrote this i was a dan and phil stan so that's why phichit's username is like... that. i decided i didnt want to deal with it anymore so it's now officially changed to "phishit"  
> \- mila's username in later chapters was "iwouldwalkathousandmilas" but i now know that the correct song lyric would be "iwouldwalk500milas"  
> \- i deleted a bunch of really, really cringy chapters

_ everymonthwebuyahamster added maccachoke, eros, icetiger, nut, kingjj, beka, iloveanya, and pewdiepie to the chat. _

 

**everymonthwebuyahamster renamed the chat** **_c00l sk8terz_ **

 

**everymonthwebuyahamster** : lol hi

**icetiger** : why did you have to add georgi

**icetiger** : iloveanya?? rlly? SHE’S LONG GONE GET OVER IT

**iloveanya** : I know, I’ve gotten over her. But I can’t figure out how to change my username.

**icetiger:** wtf are you actually that old

 

_ iloveanya has left the chat. _

 

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** wow ok gr8 start to a brand new gc

**eros:** why do we need a group chat

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** to BOND 

**eros:** but we’re competitors

**everymonthwebuyahamster** : the gpf is over till next season,, so technically we’re not rn

**eros:** ok fine whatever

**eros:** but i’m muting you guys if it gets out of hand

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** where’d yurio go

**icetiger:** idk where did he go???

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** oh i see we have a stalker

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** wheres victor

**eros:** sleeping

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** wake him up

**icetiger:** :0

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** what

**eros:** never EVER wake up victor

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ok good to know

  
  



	2. the one where the ship sails... look at it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri otayuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't wanna get hate for shipping otayuri, so i'll clarify that i ship them romantically and NOT sexually  
> there's nothing illegal about a 15 and 19(?) year old kissing ok

**kingjj:** Since when do you think I want to talk with you losers

_ kingjj has left the chat _

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added kingjj to the chat _

**everymonthwebutahamster:** NO ONE LEAVES THE C00L SK8TERZ THATS THE RULES

**kingjj:** Where can I get a copy of these rules

**icetiger:** ur mom

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** OOOH

**kingjj:** WTF you guys are so immature

_ kingjj has left the chat _

**icetiger:** dont add him again pls

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ok fine

**beka:** Stop spamming my phone please

**icetiger:** HI BEKA

**beka:** Hi Yuri

**beka:** I have to go

_ beka has left the chat _

_ icetiger has added beka to the chat _

**icetiger:** PLS DONT GO BEKA

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** does my gaydar sEnSE A SHIP SAILING??

**beka:** No comment

**icetiger:** stop invading our privacy u lil bastard

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**maccachoke:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** oh hi victor

**eros:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** let’s spam yurio with lenny faces

**maccachoke:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**eros:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**icetiger:** stop

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) not ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) till ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) tell ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) us ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) about ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) relationship ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) with ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) otabek ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_ icetiger and beka have left the chat. _

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added icetiger and beka to the chat. _

**eros:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**maccachoke:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) can ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) tell ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) your ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) dads ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) anything ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) y’know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**icetiger:** this is bullying

**eros:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) we’re ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) not ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) gonna ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) stop ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) till ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) tell ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) us ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**icetiger:** ok FINE we may have kissed ONCE

**beka:** YURI NO

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** YURI YES

**maccachoke:** OH M Y GO D

**eros:** SCREENSHOTTED

**pewdiepie:** Hey what’s up bros

**icetiger:** GET OUT EMIL NO ONE WANTS YOU HERE

**icetiger:** I’m blocking all of you

_ icetiger, beka, and pewdiepie have left the chat _

**maccachoke:** don’t worry i’ll sneak onto his phone tonight and unblock us

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ok


	3. the ship is sailing pt 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS TOTALLY UNRELATED BUT SHALL WE SKATE CAME ON SHUFFLE (I added it on spotify) AND I GET SO EXCITED EVERY TIME

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** chris

**nut:** What

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** my gaydar senses something you’re not telling us

**nut:** I mean you’re not wrong

_ nut has left the chat _

**maccachoke:** what u on about m8

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i have a feeling chris is rlly gay

**maccachoke:** are you the only straight one here

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** did you just assume my sexuality

**maccachoke:** wHaT

**eros:** pHichiT

**eros:** is there something YOURE not telling us ????

**eros:** jk i know what your sexuality is

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has left the chat _

**maccachoke:** mr ‘no one leaves the chat thats the rules’

_ maccachoke added everymonthwebuyahamster to the chat _

**eros:** i mean what do you expect from someone who has a reference to a gay phanfic for his username and is constantly asking about our relationship

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** IM BI OK I SAID IT

**maccachoke:** oh ok cool

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i’ve never told anyone except yuuri pls keep a secret pls

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** CHANGING THE SUBJECT NOW

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** can we add yurio and otabek again

**maccachoke:** yeah sure

**maccachoke:** i unblocked everyone from his phone

**maccachoke:** his password is literally his birthday lol

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added icetiger and beka to the chat _

**icetiger:** i thought i blocked you guys

**maccachoke:** must’ve glitched or something

**icetiger:** yeah sure

**beka:** I’m busy

**beka:** Stop adding me to this chat

**maccachoke:** busy doing WHAT

**icetiger:** that’s none of your business

**maccachoke:** do YOU know??

**maccachoke:** that must mean you’re with him

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** OOOHHH i’m listening

**beka:** We’re at lunch

**eros:** otabek’s in st. petersburg???

**icetiger:** yeah why do you care

**maccachoke:** THATS why you’ve been late for practice!!!

**eros:** OHHH

**icetiger:** stop

**eros:** how long has he been in town

**icetiger:** why should i tell you

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** pls yuri your gayness fuels me,,,,,

**icetiger:** why dont you just go and annoy victor and yuuri ;;

**beka:** Can you please leave me out of this?

**maccachoke:** just TELL Us

**icetiger:** he’s been staying with me and my grandpa for like a week now

**icetiger:** happy now?

_ beka has left the chat _

**maccachoke:** it doesn’t matter that he left bc theyre together at lunch

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** can i ask one more question about my new ship

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** just one more. then i’m done

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i promise

**icetiger:** FINE

**icetiger** : beka says no

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** he doesn’t have to answer it

**eros:** come on ask the question already

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** when did you kiss, have you only actually kissed once, does your grandpa know?

**icetiger:** ok 1. thats three questions 2. you never said i had to answer the question

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** it was one sentence you lil stubborn frick

**maccachoke:** YOU FRICKIN FRICKS! WHEN WILL YOU LEARN THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES 

**eros** : it’s not a good time for memes victor

**eros:** we’re trying to force information out of yurio remember

_ icetiger has left the chat _

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added icetiger to the chat _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** if you answer my question i promise to never add you back into this chat again

**icetiger:** i hate you but i hate this chat more

**icetiger:** im deleting these messages right after i send them then i'm leaving this hell of a group chat

**icetiger:** we first kissed the day he arrived in russia

**icetiger:** and we’ve only kissed 3 times, but one of those times was last night and we were making out

**icetiger:** my grandpa is rlly homophobic so he doesn’t know

_ icetiger has left the chat _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** S H O O K

**eros:** I’m actually in shock

**maccachoke:** MY SON GREW UP SO FAST

**eros:** stop calling him your son it’s weird

**maccachoke:** he’s your son too

**maccachoke:** youre the mom

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** Domestic™

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** can i annoy you two with questions too

**eros:** no

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** yuuri

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** victor

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** pls

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** :(

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ok i’m gonna make a new chat and only add Cool people into it


	4. rlly c00l sk8terz

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh basically guang-hong, leo. and minami show up

 

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added maccachoke, eros, icetiger, nut, stillalive, smolchinese, noticemeyuuri-senpai to the chat _

 

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has renamed the chat to “rlly c00l sk8terz” _

 

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** welcome to the official group chat of Actual Cool People

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** the other gc was v lame

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** Hi!!!!!!! ^v^

**stillalive:** hey

**stillalive:** pretty sure guang is sleeping bc it’s like 3am in china

**smolchinese:** nope i’m wide awake :,,))

**icetiger:** I TOLD YOU TO NOT ADD ME TO THIS GROUP CHAT PHISHIT

**eros:** give me credit for that nickname,,,

**eros:** i made it up in college

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i told you i wouldn’t add you into the c00l sk8terz, now i made a new one called rlly c00l sk8erz

**maccachoke:** speaking of college,

**maccachoke:** were you and phichit really just “friends” back then

**eros:** V ICROT IM

**eros:** *victor

**icetiger:** i have i feeling i dont wanna hear the answer to this question

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** once we were really drunk

**eros:** PHISHIT NO

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i’ll just leave it at that

**icetiger:** THANK GOD

**maccachoke:** aww i wanted to hear all the juicy details 

**maccachoke:** who topped

**eros:** nonono you have it all wrong,,

**eros:** we only kissed

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** are you sure you remember it all correctly yuuri?

**eros:** i honestly don’t even wanna know

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i’ll tell you later ;))

**maccachoke:** ME TOO

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** You guys are weird!!!!

**icetiger:** ^

**smolchinese:** yeah you do realize we can see this entire conversation

**stillalive:** iM

**stillalive:** i actually started laughing

**icetiger:** [ https://youtu.be/2k0SmqbBIpQ](https://youtu.be/2k0SmqbBIpQ)

**maccachoke:** IS THAT ACTIAOLLY THE ITS TIME TO STOP UY IM

**eros:** translation: “is that actually the ‘it’s time to stop’ guy im”

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** What does that link go to?????

_ icetiger has kicked noticemeyuuri-senpai _

**icetiger** : he;s so annoying

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** he’s was here for entertainment purposes

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** but i must Admit, he was pretty annoying

**eros** : my biggest fan :(((

**maccachoke:** i thought i was your biggest fan  >:(((

**eros:** tbh he’s been obsessed with me longer

_ maccachoke added noticemeyuuri-senpai _

**maccachoke:** WANNA FITE M8

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** What????

**maccachoke:** u think ur yuuri’s biggest fan m8???

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** Yeah!!! I’ve loved him since the first time I saw him on T.V.!!!!!

**maccachoke:** and when was that

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** 3 years ago!!!!

**icetiger:** chicken nugget wins

**eros:** you’ve gotta accept it vitya

**maccachoke:** i wonder if he’s jealous of me

**noticemeyuuri-senpai:** I wish a girl version of Yuuri was my girlfriend!!! 

**eros:** this is slightly awkward

**stillalive:** are you saying you’re the only straight one here

_ noticemeyuuri-senpai has left the chat. _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** you scared him off

**icetiger:** the lil twerp

icetiger: his hair looks like ketchup and mustard

**smolchinese:** he’s 2 years older than you

**smolchinese:** and so am i

**icetiger:** smh

**eros:** this chat is stupid i’m going to sleep

**maccachoke** : WITH ME ;)))

**icetiger:** no

**smolchinese:** gn i’m gonna sleep now too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> once again, not a very long chapter, sorry


	5. the prank

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh so yuri pranks yuuri and victor... kinda  
> it's not a very good prank

**icetiger:** this is a test to confirm that everyone is indeed offline

**icetiger:** ....

_ icetiger has added beka, kingjj, iloveanya, and pewdiepie to the chat _

**icetiger:** ok guys go ahead and sabotage this chat

**beka:** I’d rather not

_ beka has left the chat _

**kingjj:** I’m gonna go back and read all the messages

**icetiger:** ANYTHING BUT THAT NO DON’T DO THAT

**iloveanya:** As much as I’d love to do destruction, I can’t.

_ iloveanya has left the chat. _

**pewdiepie:** Oh cool! Hi there

**pewdiepie:** We should prank them

**icetiger:** good idea but how

**pewdiepie:** Hmm

**pewdiepie:** Got any ideas jj

**kingjj:** you guys are so dirty

**kingjj:** plisetsky you live near pork cutlet and nikiforov?

**icetiger** : yea

**kingjj:** do you have their keys

**icetiger:** what are you planning 

**kingjj:** I’m planning that you sneak into their apartment and change their screen names

**kingjj:** the only flaw to the plan is their phone’s passcodes

**pewdiepie:** Ooh good plan

**icetiger:** i know their passcodes but i don’t have the key

**icetiger:** i know how to pick locks tho

**kingjj:** how tf do you know their passcodes

**icetiger:** well for one yuuri doesn’t have a passcode (bad idea bc he has so many dirty pictures)

**kingjj:** aND YOU KNOW THAT BECAUSE YOU’VE SEEN THEM???

**icetiger:** my mind is scarred for life

**pewdiepie:** Back to the plan

**pewdiepie:** What will you rename them

**icetiger:** pork cutlet will become iloveyuriplisetsky

**icetiger:** nikiforov will become yuriangelleader

**kingjj:** how about ilovejjleroy and jjgirlsleader

**icetiger:** no

**icetiger:** wait if i do that then they’ll know it was me

**icetiger:** ok i’ll do yours

**kingjj:** NO I WAS KIDDING

**icetiger:** too late i’m currently picking the lock on their door

**icetiger:** oH NO

**icetiger:** I HEAR MOANING

_ everyonehatesphishit has changed their name to everymonthwebuyahamster _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** send a video :))))

**icetiger:** SINCE WHEN ARE YOU HERE PHISHIT

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ive been lurking the whole time

**kingjj:** Oh shiT

**icetiger:** the phones are on the couch

**icetiger:** thankfully the bedroom door is closed

_ eros has changed their name to ilovejjleroy _

_ maccachoke has changed their name to jjgirlsleader _

**icetiger:** i have succeeded

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** DONT LEAVE THE APARTMENT

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** record a video

_ icetiger sent a video _

**icetiger:** you disgust me

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** thank you :)))

**icetiger:** what did you even need it for

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** science

**kingjj:** what a perv

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** hey :((

**icetiger:** ok jj and emil leave the conversation so they don’t suspect anything

_ pewdiepie has left the chat. _

**kingjj:** no I wanna know how this goes down

**icetiger:** fine

**icetiger:** goodnight


	6. the prank's outcome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ilovejjleroy: possible suspects: jj

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** good morning victor and yuuri (and yurio)

**ilovejjleroy:** hi

**ilovejjleroy:** WHO CHANGED MY NAME

**ilovejjleroy:** possible suspects: jj

**jjgirlsleader:** but he’s in canada

**jjgirlsleader:** MY NAME IS CHANEGD TOO

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** possible suspects: yurio

**icetiger:** thx for ratting me out pig

**jjgirlsleader:** i’m giving you up for adoption

**icetiger:** for the last time YOURE NOT MY DAD

**nut:** that’s right, you’re his DADDY

**ilovejjleroy:** you always come in at the right times chris

**nut:** that’s right i do come at the right time ;)

**icetiger:** was that supposed to be dirty

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** probably

_ ilovejjleroy has changed their name to eros _

_ jjgirlsleader has changed their name to maccachoke _

**kingjj:** that went a lot smoother than i thought it would

_ kingjj has left the chat. _

**eros:** since when was jj in this chat

**icetiger:** since last night when i added him

**eros:** why would you add jj

**eros:** you hate him

**icetiger:** to help prank you guys

**maccachoke:** wAIT

**maccachoke:** HOW DID YOU CHANGE OUR NAMES

**icetiger:** i snuck into your apartment

**eros:** when

**icetiger:** like 1am last night

**maccachoke:** YUURI

**maccachoke:** LAST NIGHT-

**eros:** OHNO

**eros:** YOU DIDNT

**icetiger:** yeah i heard you

**icetiger:** you guys are so gross

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** he even sent me a video

**maccachoke:** DELET

**maccachoke:** E IT

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** nah, i’m using it as future blackmail/personal reasons

**eros:** speaking of blackmail

**eros:** i saw you and otabek yesterday

**icetiger:** say any more and i will personally sprint to your apartment and cut you with the butcher knife i am currently holding in my hand

**eros:** you were at a fancy restaurant

**eros:** a ROMANTIC restaurant actually

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** oH snAp

**icetiger:** i’m on my way

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** oh no guys the little kitten is gonna scratch u!!1!!!!1!1!!!1!!

_ icetiger has left the chat _

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added icetiger to the chat _

**maccachoke:** oh no yuuri i’m scared cuddle me ;;

**eros:** dont worry bb he can’t hurt us

**icetiger:** ok i’m going back home

**icetiger:** i don’t wanna risk walking in on you guys making out or smth

**maccachoke:** good idea


	7. drunken christophe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh so chris gets drunk....

 

 **nut:** HYE UGYA

 **nut:** HEY GUSY

 **nut:** HEY GUYS

 **eros:** go home you’re drunk

 **nut:** HWO  DID     YOUKNO

 **eros:** wait you’re actually drunk

 **nut:** VREY

 **nut:** VERY

 **maccachoke:** o man this is gonna be fun

 **icetiger:** dont send us a video of you pole dancing or somethin

 **nut:** TTOOO LATE

_nut has sent a video_

**maccachoke:** chris that’s just a video of you laughing at nothing

 **everymonthwebuyahamster:** on a scale of 1 to 10 how drunk are you

 **nut:** YESS

 **everymonthwebuyahamster:** that doesn’t even make sense so i’ll say an 11

 **nut:** QGH[hfDFEWIYihuRWOIDJSCUWHWEEPOwefwheopds

 **icetiger:** what

 **nut:** LOOLOLOL

 **nut:** I DROPPPDE MY PHMOE

 **eros:** that’s not what happens when you drop a phone…??

 **maccachoke:** chris what are you doing right now

 **nut:** hAVUNG FUUNN ;:)))

 **maccachoke:** i have a feeling we don’t want to know what he’s actually doing

 **stillalive:** thx for spamming my phone and waking me up

 **eros:** sorry chris is drunk

 **nut:** WHIS THTA

 **stillalive:** leo

 **nut:** O K I DONT KNWO YOI

 **nut:** CUM AND FINED MEEE

 **everymonthwebuyahamster:** but we’re not in switzerland

 **nut:** YOUR NOT/??

 **eros:** no chris

 **nut:** Hello, this is Chris’s boyfriend. I just found him inside an empty cupboard terribly drunk and laughing hysterically at his phone so I looked at it and found this chat. Sorry if he was bothering you or something. bye

 **everymonthwebuyahamster:** b o y f r i e n d

 **maccachoke:** o m f g

 **icetiger:** is no one gonna talk about the fact he was in a cupboard

 **smolchinese:** hey what’s happening

 **eros:** chris is drunk and has a boyfriend

 **smolchinese:** WHY DO I ALWAYS MISS THE GOOD STUFF

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was reading what i wrote to make sure everything was right and i made myself laugh so that's a good sign


	8. truth or dare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the title says it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOW SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER  
> sometimes i forget i ever have to update fics

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** GUYS LET’S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE

**icetiger:** this is not going to end well

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** all in favor say “i”

**maccachoke:** i

**icetiger:** im not

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** that had an i in it so i’m counting it

**eros:** why not.

**eros:** i

**stillalive:** i’m bored. i

**smolchinese:** YAAAS

**smolchinese:** i

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added beka to the chat _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** WE’RE PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE

**beka:** No thanks

_ beka has left the chat _

_ everymonthwebuyahamster has added beka to the chat _

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** did i give you a choice

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** OK ME FIRST

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** yuuri truth or dare

**eros:** oh no

**eros:** truth

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** would you want dog victor to still be alive, as long as human victor never became your coach

**maccachoke:** oh this is EASY

**eros:** can i pass

**maccachoke:** i’m offended

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** no. this is truth or dare, you have to answer.

**eros:** fine

**eros:** dog victor

**maccachoke:** DID YOU REALLY JUST

**maccachoke:** CHOOSE A DOG OVER ME

**eros:** victor would you kill maccachin for me

**maccachoke:** no

**eros:** exactly

**maccachoke:** im still mad tho  >:((

**icetiger:** i would kill katsudon any day for my cat

**maccachoke:** this is not about you

**eros:** make-up sex later?

**maccachoke:** sure ;))

**icetiger:** GET A ROOM

**eros:** i guess it’s my turn??

**eros:** yurio truth or dare

**icetiger:** that’s not my name

**icetiger:** dare im not a pussy

**maccachoke:** LANGUAGE

**eros:** i dare you to send us a picture of what underwear you’re wearing right now

**icetiger:** uh ok

_ icetiger has sent a photo. _

**maccachoke:** arE THOSE CATS ON YOUR BOXERS IM

**icetiger:** leo truth or dare

**stillalive:** hmm dare

**icetiger:** i dare you to go outside and run in circles and yell “YURI IS THE BEST” for 10 seconds

**stillalive:** lucky for you my backyard is huge so no one will hear me

**stillalive:** done

**smolchinese:** leo your backyard is tiny what u talkin bout

**stillalive:** shhh

**stillalive:** otabek truth or dare

**beka:** Truth. I’d rather not risk publically embarrassing myself today.

**stillalive:** do you have a crush on anyone ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

**beka:** What are we, 10 year old girls?

**stillalive:** just answer the question

**beka:** Yeah I may or may not have been eyeing someone for a while now

**icetiger:** i s2g if that someone isn’t me imma kill a bitch

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** OOOOOO WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**beka:** That wasn’t part of the question so I’m not answering that

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** as the honorary founder of the c00l sk8terz, i demand you answer any questions i ask

**beka:** Fine

**beka:**

**icetiger:** CALLED IT

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** AWWW YEAAAHHHH I LOVE IT WHEN SHIPS ARE MUTUAL

**beka:** Victor, truth or dare?

**maccachoke:** DARE

**beka:** Slap the person closest to you

**eros:** SHOOT THAT’S ME

_ maccachoke has sent a video _

**beka:** THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT

**icetiger:** NO ONE WANTS TO SEE YUURI’S ASS GET SLAPPED

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i do

**smolchinese:** phichit, we love you, but you have to tone it down sometimes

**eros:** VICTOR WHY DID YOU TAKE A VIDEO

**maccachoke:** bc you have a nice butt

**maccachoke:** guang-hong truth or dare

**smolchinese:** truth i guess?

**maccachoke:** are you dating anyone

**smolchinese:** yes leo ok bye

**smolchinese:** how did you not know that already…??

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** n e w  s h i p  a c h i e v e d

**smolchinese:** the only person left is phichit

**smolchinese:** truth or dare

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** dare

**icetiger:** i dare you to delete this group chat

**smolchinese:** ITS NOT YOUR TURN

**smolchinese:** i dare you to tell chris you love him

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** WTF NO

**nut:** I’ve been here the whole time

**nut:** so, I hear you have an interest in Swiss men, Phichit?

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** NO

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** but i have to do the dare

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i love you chris

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** (PLS DONT TAKE THAT SERIOUSLy))))

**eros:** well that was entertaining

**icetiger:** THIS IS FINALLY OVER BYE


	9. sleepover (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> grown men having a sleepover? it's not weird at all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk why they're in the same hotel... maybe this is at the next gpf?? idk i just really wanted to write about a sleepover

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** WOWZA WE’RE ALL IN THE SAME HOTEL AREN’T WE

**icetiger:** unfortunately

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** WE SHOULD HAVE A SLEEPOVER

**maccachoke:** YEs THIS WILL BE SO FUN

**eros:** i have a feeling this is gonna be Gr8™

**icetiger:** i object

**beka:** C’mon Yura this might actually be fun

**icetiger:** no it won’t

**smolchinese:** IM PUMPED

**stillalive:** i’ll go if guang does

**nut:** I’ll pass

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** thats ok chris’s probably too busy nutting on his bf

**nut:** Hey

**nut:** How did you know

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** who’s room

**maccachoke:** ours bc it’s biggest

**maccachoke:** we requested a room for two

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** what’s your room number

**eros:** 305

**icetiger:** IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW

**eros:** ?

**icetiger:** my room is next to yours and those walls are * t h i n *

**maccachoke:** shit

**eros:** it DOES make sense

**eros:** we heard things from the other room too…

**icetiger:** WHAT

**beka:** well fuck

**icetiger:** I PROMISE WE WEREN’T DOING IT

**icetiger:** we were only making out

**beka:** half-naked

**eros:** s c r e e n s h o t t e d

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** p o s t e d

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** jk i’ll only do that if you act up at this sleepover

**maccachoke:** so when are you guys coming over

**smolchinese:** how about now?

**macccachoke:** ok sure, i’ll order pizza

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** BE THERE IN 5

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ALMOST THERE

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** AT THE DOOR   
**eros:** yes we can hear you basically punching the door be patiENT

**icetiger:** fyi i never said i was gonna come

**beka:** But I said you’d come so you will

**icetiger:** it’s gonna take me approximately 3 hours to pack an overnight bag

**eros:** YOU’RE NEXT DOOR

**eros:** just go back to your room if you need something smh

**smolchinese:** otw ^v^

**stillalive:** right behind you

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** hurry up we’re gossiping about otayuri ;))

**icetiger:** YOUR WHAT

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** jkjk

**maccachoke:** *you’re

**eros:** don’t listen to phichit we were talking about what we think the pizza delivery guy will look like

**icetiger:** tf

**beka:** OH MY GOD YURI hurry up you’re taking forever to change

**icetiger:** i’m procrastinating

**beka:** do i need to come in there and dress you

**icetiger:** IM NOT 3 GEEZ SHUT UP

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** you are aware we can see this too

**beka:** fyi he just came out of the bathroom and started whining about how you guys are stupid and how we’re not 12 so we shouldn’t be having sleepovers

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** when i saw “came out” i kinda sorta screamed but then i read the rest of the sentence

**eros:** phichit you need to Chill

**maccachoke:** leo and guang hong are already hurry up

**beka:** I’m trying

**beka:** he won’t budge

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** we can literally hear yuri complaining (very loudly) man these walls are thin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is describing the events of the sleepover... stay tuned ;))


	10. a sleepover (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> pizza delivery girl wants selfie, things go wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this will be a multi-part segment of the story! you'll see why at the end lol  
> also, i can't write real stories for the life of me, so enjoy this piece of trash ;))

A few seconds after Phichit sent the last message, Yuri came barging in.

“I’m here losers, happy now?”

Otabek stepped in after him, rolling his eyes. “Hi everyone,” he said.

“Oh my god,” Phichit said, scrambling up from his seat on the floor. “It’s the first time I’ve seen you two as a couple!”

“Shut up,” Yuri said. “We’re not a couple.”

“Then explain this,” said Phichit, showing the screenshots he had taken earlier.

Yuri scowled. “What food do you have?” heading towards the hotel’s minifridge.

“They’re obviously just bros being bros, making out and stuff,” Leo said, sarcastically.

“You’re all assholes,” Yuri muttered.

“There’s nothing good in here!” Yuri exclaimed, slamming the minifridge’s door. 

“Thankfully, I ordered five large pizzas,” Victor pointed out. “You’re welcome.”

The seven friends continued talking until there was a knock at the door. “Pizza’s here!” said Victor as he stood up from his position on the bed. “About time,” Yuri said.

Victor opened the door and was surprised to see a short teenage girl delivering their pizza. She looked up at him and as recognition struck, she gasped and almost dropped the pizzas.

“V-Victor Nikiforov! Oh my god! I can’t believe-”

And at that moment, she fainted.

Victor just barely caught her as she fell, but the pizzas dropped with a loud smack.

“What was that?” Yuuri yelled from the other side of the hotel room.

Within seconds, everyone was at the doorway, staring at the unconscious girl lying on the floor.

“She.. uh… fainted? I don’t know, I think she was starstruck?” Victor explained.

“What do we do with her? Call an ambulance or something?” Guang-Hong asked.

“No, she’s breathing, I think we should just wait until she wakes up.”

Victor moved her to the bed, and in a few minutes her eyes flickered open.

“Wh-where am I?” the girl asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.

Her eyes opened wide as she gasped, immediately recognizing all the faces she saw.

Before she could say anything, Yuuri butted in. “Please don’t faint again! I know it’s exciting when you meet your idol, I know the feeling.”

She stared, wide eyed, at all of the boys before speaking. “Yurochka … I’m your biggest fan! Please marry me! I promise I’m perfect for you, we have all the same interests! I even-”

The girl was cut off by the sound of Victor and Phichit holding back laughter. “Sorry but…” Phichit started, half talking, half laughing, “He’s taken.”

Tears welled up in the girl’s eyes. “Wh- what? Who-”

“Cut it out guys! You’re making her cry!” Yuri interrupted. “Oh, and I only date  _ real  _ guys.”

“Guys-  _ guys _ ? You’re  _ gay _ ?!” she screamed.

“For me,” Otabek said proudly, kissing Yuri on the head.

“No hetero,” Victor muttered

“Yeah, seems like you’re the only straight one here,” Leo said.

“You’re  _ all _ gay?” she asked.

“Well, I’m bi,” Phichit pointed out.

“And no one’s gonna believe you when you tell them. Now can we pay for our pizza? I’m starving,” Yuri said.

Everyone had totally forgotten about the pizza boxes laying in the doorway. Thankfully, they landed right-side-up, so there wasn’t too much damage.

“Uh, oh, yeah,” the girl said, a hint of disappointment in her voice.

Victor handed her the money and she walked out of the cramped hotel room.

“Wait- Can I get a selfie?”

The seven friends looked at each other for a second. “Uh, sure, why not?” Yuuri finally said.

Everyone tried to squeeze into the frame.

“Ugh, Beka, your elbow’s right in my ribs,” Yuri complained as he was squished between Otabek and Guang-hong. “You’re such a pain, you know that?” Otabek said humorously. 

“You know you love me,” Yuri replied, kissing him on the cheek.

At that very second, the camera shutter went off.

The girl ran out the door.

“ _ Fuck! _ No! Come back here you little shit!” Yuri yelled, running out the door after her.

Victor tried grabbing him by the arm, but Yuri squirmed free. He caught up to the girl and tackled her right in front of the elevator.. 

“Give me that phone, you hag!” Yuri growled. “Don’t you  _ dare  _ post that picture!” The girl screamed but held on to her phone tight. After a few seconds of grabbing the phone back and forth, the elevator bell dinged.

She elbowed him in the nose and ran into the elevator right as it was about to close and disappeared behind the sliding doors.

Yuri groaned, not bothering to stand up from his place on the patterned carpet. By now, the others had made their way to 

“I’m so dead,” he muttered. 

“Yeah, well, you’re not the only one,” Otabek said.

“I’m such an idiot,” Yuri said. “My ribs didn’t even hurt that much,”

The fifteen-year old curled up in a ball. “She’s gonna post it,”

“If it makes you feel any better, my and Victor’s first kiss was aired on live international television,” Yuuri said.

“I’m not even out to my own grandpa yet, why would I want to come out to the entire world?”

“I mean, maybe she won’t post it? You never know,” Guang-hong said.

A door across the hall opened. “What’s going on out here?” Mila said. “I heard a scream, then Yuri yelled something about a hag, then talking.”

“Oh don’t mind us, I’m just dead now,” Yuri said.

“What happened? Little kitten stub his toe?”

“Shut up! What happened is none of your business.”

“Come on, you can tell your big sister Mila anything!” she said, grabbing his arm, pulling him up.

“Let go of me, you bitch!” Yuri said, slapping Mila’s hand from his arm and storming back to his room.

“Shit, I didn’t have the key to the room,” Otabek said. “He’s never coming out of that room.”

“Let him sulk for a while,” Victor said. “We can go back to our room.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter will be them convincing yuri out of his room via text. probably won't be too long


	11. save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter might take a while,, it took me a few days to write that last one lol

_ Private message from beka to icetiger _

 

**beka:** wanna talk

**icetiger:** no

**icetiger:** i’m fine with blasting mcr into my headphones thank you very much

**beka:** Phichit is now screaming over the fact that you like MCR

**icetiger:** yes i can hear him outside my headphones

**icetiger:** jesus christ that boy is loud

**beka:** try sitting right next to him

**beka:** can you please come back and save me 

**beka:** they’re too loud and nosy

**icetiger:** no ty 

**beka:** we have pizza

**icetiger:** oK finE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i lowkey wanna brag to my friends that i have a fic with almost 2k hits and 5k words but i'm afraid that if they read this they'll judge me


	12. sweet 16 (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i t ' s p a r t y t i m e

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES HELLO IT'SS BEEN LIKE 2 WEEKS  
> pretend this isn't in the middle of the last chapter about the sleepover lmao  
> i just needed to write a chapter about yurio's bday ok  
> yes i am aware it's not his birthday in russia anymore but it is here so :))

**icetiger:** I’M 16 NOW BITCHES

**maccachoke:** it’s literally 12:01am what

**icetiger:** YOU GUYS AREN’T INVITED TO MY PARTY

**maccachoke:** you don’t have any other friends tho

**icetiger:** i have otabek

**icetiger:** and my grandpa

**maccachoke:** we’re coming over anyways

**nut:** i’m bringing the vodka

**maccachoke:** YOU’RE IN SWITZERLAND

**nut:** Fun fact: a flight from Switzerland to Moscow takes approximately 3 hours 35 minutes.

**icetiger:** no

**icetiger:** don’t come

**nut:** Too late

**eros:** CHRIS JUST KNOCKED ON OUR DOOR

**icetiger:** HOW DOES HE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE

**maccachoke:** i may have planned this

**icetiger:** fcuk u

**eros:** victor just slapped him

**icetiger:** LMAOO WHY

**maccachoke:** he was hitting on yuuri

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** whts goign on u wok e me up

**icetiger:** im 16 !!!

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** ah yes time to buy a plane ticket :)))

**icetiger:** no

**icetiger:** how tf do you guys have money for this

**nut:** I’ve got a sugar daddy, honey

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i can’t afford it but i don’t need food anyways

_everymonthwebuyahamster sent a photo._

**icetiger:** YOU ACTUALLY DID IT

**icetiger:** YOU BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET

**icetiger:** waste of money tbh

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i thought you thought were the best thing since sliced bread

**icetiger:** i am but you’re not invited

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** too bad so sad I’M COMING ANYWAYS

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** be there at noon tomorrow

**icetiger:** i’m not letting you within 100 feet of my house

 

 

* * *

 

_everymonthwebuyahamster has added maccachoke, eros, nut, and beka to the chat_

_everymonthwebuyahamster named the chat “super secret yurio sweet 16”_

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** guys he’s getting a party whether he likes it or not

**nut:** i’m bringing vodka

**eros:** we already bought his gift

**eros:** it’s a kitten

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** thats a H*cking good present

**nut:** I give him the gift of my presence

**beka:** I got him a ring

**maccachoke:** HES ON;Y 16 YOU CAN’T MARRY HIM

**beka:** NO NO it’s a good luck charm

**maccachoke:** good because you didn’t ask for my blessings

**beka:** it’s got “davai” carved into it and everything

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** couple goals

**beka:** shut up

**beka:** also I am Designated DJ™

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** we should probably yell nikolai

**beka:** i can tell him

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** we have to invite mila and yakov and georgi too

**maccachoke:** i’ll text them

**eros:** we should fly out jj just to annoy him

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** no it’s his sweet 16 we can’t be mean

_maccachoke has added iwouldwalkathousandmilas to the chat_

**eros:** nice username

**iwouldwalkathousandmilas:** thx

**iwouldwalkathousandmilas:** we should make his cake rainbow to celebrate his newfound sexuality

**beka:** no

**everymonthwebuyahamster** :we’ll make it black and Edgy™

**eros:** please don’t tell me you’re making this cake phichit

**eros:** we all know i’m the baker in this relationship

**maccachoke:** WHAT relationship

**eros:** its a joke victor chill

**eros:** you’re not helping either, you’ll screw it up

**maccachoke:** true true

_eros has sent a photo._

__

**eros:** should i make this one

**maccachoke:** YES

**eros:** ok going to the store now

**eros:** wait whats his favorite flavor of cake

**beka:** vanilla

**beka:** don’t ask how i know that

**eros:** ......ok

**eros:** i’m at the store and they don’t have any black fondant

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** just buy a cake

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** it’s like 1am there you don’t need to be baking rn

**eros:** WAIT THEY HAVE THE PERFECT CAKE

_eros has sent a picture_

__

 

**maccachoke:** HOLY SHIT YES

**eros:** they say it’ll be ready at 11am

**beka:** what time are you coming over

**maccachoke:** 6pm, he gets out from practice at 6:30, so we can surprise him

**iwouldwalkathousandmilas:** i’ll act like i just wanna walk him home

**beka:** cool see you then


	13. sweet 16 (pt 2)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains a lil bit of ACTUAL WRITING lmao i can't write  
> next chapter will be sleepover ok

The time had come for the marvelous sweet 16 party.

Yuuri, Victor, Phichit, and Chris ran for the living room as they heard Yuri’s loud voice approaching from outside, complaining about who knows what to Mila. They decided it would be funnier if they pretended he wasn’t there until he came and saw him, Otabek would act as nothing happened.

“Hey Yura, how was practice?” Otabek said, greeting him at the door.

“Fine. Yakov won’t give me a day off even for my birthday, but then Victor comes in and out as he pleases? Bullshit,” he complained.

“I’m a coach now, you idiot,” Victor mumbled.

“What was that? Was that Victor? He better not be in the living room,” Yuri said, stomping his way to the doorway of the room everyone else was in, Otabek following.

“Grandpa, I thought I told you not to let them in!” he yelled to the other room.

“They’re just your friends, I didn’t think you’d mind,” he replied.

“Nothing a little alcohol won’t fix,” Chris said, standing up with a bottle of vodka.

“Why not, at least I won’t want to kill you if I’m drunk,” Yuri said, taking the bottle and drinking 3 big gulps.

“Shit,” Otabek started. “He gets drunk easily. Don’t ask how I know that,”

“Well, you’re in luck, because I do too,” Yuuri said, taking a sip from the bottle.

“Ha… guys.... the alcohol’s kicking in,” Yuri slurred.

 

* * *

 

Yuri woke up on the floor next to Otabek and a tiny kitten, in only his underwear with a raging headache.

“Beka,” he said, elbowing the sleeping Otabek next to him. “How much did I drink last night?”

“A lot,” he replied groggily. “I don’t remember much of what happened,”

 

* * *

 

**icetiger:** who here remembers what happened last night

**eros:** not me lmao how did i even get home

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i drove you i was sober

**eros:** impressive

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** yeah basically yuri got really drunk, nikolai fell asleep or something, and i have a lot blackmail material now

**icetiger:** also how did i get a kitten

**eros:** our gift to you ;))

**icetiger:** thx

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** wanna see the pics

**maccachoke:** YES

_everymonthwebuyahamster has sent 14 photos._

**icetiger:** FUCK NO

**icetiger:** DELETE THOSE

**maccachoke:** aw, yuri was grinding on otabek? how sweet

**icetiger:** THIS IS NOT OKAY

**eros:** jesus how much did i drink

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** like a lot

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** idk i lost track

**maccachoke:** i don;t remember making out with yuuri naked in the corner i must have been drunk too

**stillalive:** you are aware we’re still in this chat lmao

_icetiger has kicked stillalive and smolchinese_

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** i mean i would kick them out too

**everymonthwebuyahamster:** when both victor and yuuri are drunk the party is Excellent™

**icetiger:** i’d rather forget this ever happened


	14. binktop

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay after a year and a half i have arisen from the dead  
> i have some things to say so please read:  
> \- i JUST NOW realized that makkachin is spelled with Ks and not Cs, so victor's username in literally all of this story is wrong. i deeply apologize.  
> \- when i originally wrote this i was a dan and phil stan so that's why phichit's username is like... that. i decided i didnt want to deal with it anymore so it's now officially changed to "phishit"  
> \- mila's username was "iwouldwalkathousandmilas" but i now know that the correct song lyric would be "iwouldwalk500milas"  
> \- i deleted a bunch of really, really cringy chapters

**icetiger:** have you ever noticed that Виктор looks like binktop

**makkachoke:** and Хуй тебе looks like xyn tebe!

**eros:** i know very little russian but i know that i need to tell you to watch your language there victor

**icetiger:** Иисус Христос

**makkachoke:** юрий looks like opnn

**phishit:** I’m so confused

**makkachoke:** never call me binktop that’s all you need to know

**iwouldwalk500milas:** i will try to explain

**phishit:** please do

**makkachoke:** please don’t

**iwouldwalk500milas:** so victor’s name in russian is Виктор. it looks like binktop. this is yuri’s new favorite nickname for victor ever since he saw someone joke about it on twitter and victor isn’t here for it. so he responds with “fuck you” in russian and then yuri says “jesus christ.” and then victor says yuri’s name in russian, юрий, looks like “opnn”

**icetiger:** well when you say it like that it isn’t funny anymore

**makkachoke:** it was never funny

**eros:** it kinda was

**makkachoke:** Divorce Papers? Signed.

**icetiger:** you still arent married remember

**eros:** seriously why is this so annoying to you

**makkachoke:** same reason yuri doesnt like yurio

**icetiger:** THATS DIFFERENT

**makkachoke:** Really? Is it?

**phishit:** yurio isn’t his name. binktop IS your name.

**makkachoke:** but it’s not, because Виктор is not pronounced or translated to “binktop”

**beka:** Jokes on you, my name in Russian is literally Отабек

**makkachoke:** wait yuri who on twitter used “binktop”

**icetiger:** actually, funny story

**icetiger:** so katsudon actually had a secret fan account for you back in 2015

**makkachoke:** i’d believe that

**phishit:** wait i remember that it was like daddynikiforov or something

**eros:** please stop, i am ashamed

**icetiger:** well anyways his sister told me about it when we were in hasetsu last

**eros:** brb gonna go Kill her

**icetiger:** it’s so fucking funny

**makkachoke:** i cant find it

**icetiger:** the username was ilyvictor actually phichit

**makkachoke:** ah here we go!

**eros:** please guys

**eros:** i was just having a nice rest day

**makkachoke:** yuuri this stuff is so cute

**makkachoke:** but… what is this

_ makkachoke has sent an image.  _

**phishit:** SELF INSERT FANFICTION AHFDKSJFSDADJF

**eros:** I WAS 22. I WAS LONELY, I WAS SAD, AND I WAS HORNY.

**makkachoke:** will you read this aloud to me yuuri when you get home uwu

**eros:** Хуй тебе

**nut:** Victor honey will you please send me the link to that piece of writing?

**makkachoke:** anything for you, chris ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologies for any incorrect russian, i used google translate


End file.
